I just went with the flow. I had a whole lesson planned out, but life had different plans.

I had no idea we would talk about body shame” at the heart of Intuitive Eating.

I am so excited to share this episode with you, Linda Tucker. I believe this conversation with Linda provided the” for me to deepen my understanding of Intuitive Eating in a much more resonant and powerful way than before.

In the episode, I share a bit about my struggles with shame. If you’ve been listening to the podcast before or reading my articles, you know I’m pretty open with shame, partly because of my sharing experience in Overeaters Anonymous . It’s my core problem.

But … BODY shame, specifically, was never my problem. So, I always felt a little distant from Intuitive Eating Principle 8 of Respecting Your Body, which addresses body shame.

Fortunately, I was speaking to the exact right expert in the field: Coach Linda Tucker. She is a vibrant woman who I highly recommend you check out! She also made the graphic of the banana split—a true artist!

Linda gave me (and you when you listen) the key to understanding shame.

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Shame is what prevents people from becoming an Intuitive Eater!!!

I see this so clearly now. How did I not see this deep, relevant, powerful connection before?

As I write this, I feel the creeping familiar feeling of shame and embarrassment—how did I not see this before? Yet, as Linda beautifully mentioned in the podcast, we must reject these thoughts/feelings that tell us we are unworthy.

So, now, as I write, I release the thought/feeling that I am not worthy. And when some of the guilty feeling stays and lingers, I practice compassion with myself for being a human being on planet earth, steeped in a culture of shame.

Shame is prevalent. Our relationships, doctors, billboards, and magazines reinforce it. The message is the same – you are not good enough as you are …

And as Linda pointed out, the message of shame is also LIFE THREATENING. This isn’t just hippie nonsense about shame.

Shame activates regions in the brain because we experience shame whenever we feel rejected. Back hundreds of years ago, rejection from the tribe meant death! So shame is a life-or-death feeling that’s incredibly powerful.

Shame keeps us from honoring our hunger because our shame springs from the fear that our body will betray us if we honor our hunger. If our bodies betray us, then we are out of control. If we lose power, we won’t be able to manage our lives.

Shame is the underlying problem, hidden underneath the layers.

So, how did I begin with the Intention to speak about Unconditional Eating but end up exploring shame?

I began the podcast by asking about how Linda overcame her problems:

• How Linda Overcomes Fatigue
• How Linda healed from dieting
• How Linda connected with her body for more energy

Yet my curiosity peaked when Linda said her most considerable enlightenment, her most significant insight was regarding body shams”.

I couldn’t resist exploring. The vibrant energy with which Linda spoke …

I knew she had a goldmine of wisdom to share! I felt the spirit of genuine curiosity” in my veins, and I had to learn more!

So, I have completely forgotten my plan to talk about unconditional eating.

I felt my soul resonating with her description of shame and how to overcome it. I hope your soul resonates, too. She is legitimate, knows so much about this field, and has much experience working with people. She’s great!

Below is a quick audio snippet and transcript of my conversation with Linda. The entire podcast is also below, and below the podcast is a stream of consciousness I wrote as I re-listened to it. These ‘ enlightenment” are my own.

How To Enhance Body Positivity Without Body Shaming 1-min Audio

< Linda Tucker >”The first principle of intuitive eating, which I would say is the most crucial one, which you have to keep coming back to repeatedly, is rejecting the Diet mentality.”

“Rejecting the thoughts that pop into your mind that continue to tell you should” and this and not saying love.”

“There are so many ways that I think the wording of intuitive eating is brilliant, and this is one of them. It’s rejecting. It’s not stopping; it’s not getting rid of. These thoughts are going to come up. It’s our job; it’s the job of the Higher Self.”

“It’s our job; it’s our responsibility; it’s our compassionate choice, a kind choice to meet those diet thoughts and then say, I no longer choose to participate with that.”

This is a practice, a skill, a way of living mindfully – and it’s worth it.

My Biggest Enlightenment Insights With Linda Tucker Based On This Eating Interview

1. It is difficult to admit you have a problem with food!
2. You don’t nourish yourself only through food; you can nourish Andrea with other things that fuel your body, like movement, relationships, and spirituality.
3. Unconditional Permission to eat is the foundation of Intuitive Eating, and Intuitive Eating is how you were born to eat. You don’t need to reteach yourself anything; you need to uncover what is already there! You are already whole, and you already have the innate ability to become an Intuitive Eater!
4. Unconditional eating includes chocolate, too!
5. You have that ability within you to be typical with food!
6. Linda’s big moment was when realizing would have to deal with body shame.
7. Linda believes (and I agree) that you must work on your body shame while learning Intuitive Eating; otherwise, you’ll turn Intuitive Eating into a diet!
8. Shame is, at the core, the belief that you are unworthy of love and belonging IF you don’t behave/think a certain way.
9. Shame is perpetuated with women around their bodies and being a mother.
10. Body shame might manifest as shame regarding weight, appearance, how the body functions, clothes, etc.
11. Linda’ss journey involved feeling unworthy because of her chronic illness. She felt that people were judging her, along with her dislike of her body … a nasty stew of I’m not good enough”.
12. Body shame is the root of struggling with Intuitive Eating. Because if you are struggling with Intuitive Eating, you won’t be able to embrace hunger and unconditional eating if you have body shame.
13. Shame is the fear of not being loved or the feeling of not being loved.
14. Shame manifests as People Pleasing, Performing, and Perfectionism
15. If we fear that our bodies will cause us to lose love, it’ll be hard to embrace Intuitive Eating.
16. Shame is LIFE THREATENING. Shame means death. These concepts are actual. Body shame, diet culture, etc … lead us to have messages that our bodies – if our bodies don’t look a certain way – will lose love.
17. There is an internal battle going on. On one hand, you may recognize that diet culture is going on, and you don’t want to participate. However, there is deep-seated conditioning around body shame. Body shame is an internalization that you will be rejected from the group, which has been conditioned over time.
18. Body shame is perpetuated through doctors, family members, and friends – who are saying the basic message of”I don’t like you in your fat body” or”Your fat body will make me reject you.”
19. It’s not your fault you have body shame. You live in a culture where body shame is the norm. You live in a culture where shame is perpetuated. You are going to have shame!!! That’s to be expected.
20. Shame is not a problem you get rid of.
21. There’s no such thing as getting rid of shame forever. You have neurobiology; you live in a culture with shame… so you will have shame! So, cut yourself some slack.
22. You will experience shame or disruptions around body shame; however, the key is to expect these disruptions as a part of being in this culture. The key to adapting to this is cultivating compassion.
23. We are rejecting the thoughts that come into our minds about dieting. All the thoughts like””shoul””. Rejecting does NOT mean stopping or getting rid of it. These thoughts are going to come up. It is our job; our Higher Self must make the compassionate choice to meet those diet thoughts and say,” I no longer choose to participate with those thoughts.”
24. Self-care is great—massages, so forth, relaxing music—but you don’t always have the time for it. However, you can be self-compassionate at any time.

Linda also mentions during the podcast a few resources for dealing with shame. She mentions that a scientific model for shame revolves around seeing shame as a resiliency rather than something you eliminate. She mentions BreneBrown’s work in this field.

Like a true champion of the Intuitive Eating movement, Linda gave me some materials for further review after our conversation. Here are they are for you to enjoy as well 🙂