What is a Life Weaving Conversation?
It’s a conversation where separate strands of life are strung together in a coherent way contributing to greater understanding.
The first thread in my conversation with David centered about tunnel vision. Tunnel vision is where your reality is restricted to a limited view, and in David’s case, tunnel vision meant religious fundamentalism.
Learning to ask questions and to question his assumptions was a critical foundation for David’s journey into working as a counselor in private practice and helping veterans with invisible injuries.
The second thread in our conversation explored the difficult in getting out of tunnel vision. Because it’s one thing to talk about tunnel vision, but a whole different thing to actually be stuck in tunnel vision.
Relationships, it turns out, are crucial to changing your perspective. That’s why having a good relationship with your children is so important!
Relationships form the backbone of our life.
Even in Buddhist philosophy, everything is recognized as interconnected.
Relationships are far more important than willpower. Willpower is oftentimes why mindfulness and cognitive therapy can be misunderstood.
Both mindfulness and cognitive therapy can go to battle with thoughts. You might try to ‘will your thoughts’ away. However, battling your thoughts only causes resistance.
(For my own thoughts about cognitive therapy, check out this post here)
So the key is to change your relationship to your thoughts. As David notes, you don’t act on every one of your thoughts during the day. Thoughts are more like a structure of reality.
However, you can learn to accept your thoughts without getting lost in tunnel vision by having a clear understanding of your vision and values.
Finally, we talked about vision and values. Particularly in a world where there’s so much noise, it’s perhaps the most important thing for us to form relationships and explore our values consciously.
Without conscious exploration, we’ll be greatly hindered in our quest to live our best lifes and to be able to respond to situations flexibly.
David has a private therapy practice and he works with people all over the world in different timezones.